46 Days.

46 days (?!?!?!) until I have to reveal my 'beach body'. Ugh, that makes me wanna vom.

In those 46 days (6.5 weeks), in order to reach my goal weight, I need to lose 2 pounds per week. I just don't see that happening considering I've barely lost ANYTHING since I re-started my fitness regimen on January 13.

I'm stressin'. And I feel like a major transformation needs to happen ASAP. But there's only so much I can do.

Working out every day, counting my calories (I could probably be better), and seeing no results is the most disheartening thing in the world. It's like, well, if I'm not gunna lose weight, why can't I just sit in bed and eat pizza? It's hard to get rid of those thoughts, but I manage.

A more realistic transformation, I think, is going to be one that occurs mentally. Emotionally. I need to start seeing myself as someone who is okay to go out in public in a bathing suit. Honestly, I'm not perfect in my fitness, but I'm trying really hard. I'm staying active, I'm eating well, I'm doing a lot of things that most Americans don't do. And I should be proud of that, regardless of what the scale says. I should focus on how deserving I am to feel good about myself. And how it doesn't matter what anyone thinks, at the end of the day, except for me.

Hopefully I can make this mental transformation within the next few weeks. Also, shedding a few pounds wouldn't be horrible, either...Wish me luck!

-Ellen

Eek. Fat.

Interesting thought of the day:

Humans carry about 10 billion to 30 billion fat cells. People who are obese can have up to 100 billion.
"If anyone of us overeats long and hard enough, we can increase the number of fat cells in our body," Fried said. "When we lose weight, we don't lose the number of fat cells."
The size of the cells shrinks, but the capacity to expand is always there.

 Read more here: http://www.cnn.com/2011/HEALTH/07/22/fat.weight.loss/

Motivation Wall

My motivation wall includes:

• Exercise schedule
• Eating calendar
• Countdown to spring break
• Motivational quotes
• Pounds lost/pounds to lose
• Ideas for healthy lunches, breakfasts, and snacks (the little square outlined in pink/green)
• Bikini (Haven't hung it up yet)

Hopefully it works! 61 DAYS, HOLLLLA!

Livid.

Yeah, dude, I'm livid. I gained 5 pounds over winter break. SERIOUSLY. That's 1/3 of the weight I originally lost. That's 5-10 weeks of extra work to lose it all. I'm devastated.

I made a really strict eating schedule and planned intense workouts for every day. But, looking back on my summer health journey, it took me about 11 weeks to lose 13 pounds. Can I really lose 15 (or, ideally, more) in just 10 weeks?! I don't know!! And I'm freaking out. I took a before picture and I can't handle the way I currently look in a swim suit. And we have to take into consideration that these next 10 weeks include Rush, Valentine's Day, and My 21st birthday. Occasions where a cheat meal or two/a span of time with little room for exercise will have to happen. Add in extra-curricular activities, 19 credit hours, and, potentially, a part-time job, and I see a recipe for disaster.

I can't even really express my disappointment in myself. But, being sad won't really change anything. I guess I've just gotta go out there and give this fitness thing my all. All I can do is work hard and hope for the best (numbers-wise) from now until March 17.

I put a countdown timer in (on the right side bar) to help me track my time. 68 days. That's under 10 weeks. AHHHHH. Ok, time to get up and active. Yikes.

 

-Ellen

Snow Day

I'm kind of stuck in the house on this incredibly snowy day. Luckily, I had some workout DVDs on hand :) I continued with Day 6 of Level 1 of Jillian's 30 Day Shred, and I did a 20-minute Bob Harper workout from the Biggest Loser cardio DVD. These workouts combined burn around 500 calories, give or take. How do I know this? Cause...I just got a heart rate monitor!

A few days ago I picked it up from Dick's sporting goods. It's the Polar FT4. I love it so far. I love knowing how many calories I burn so I can eat accordingly.

Also, since I'm snowed in, I did a little reading. I went back and read a lot of my blog posts from the summer. It really inspired me! When I blogged every day, I was able to motivate myself and keep track of my progress. Unfortunately, during the school year, there's no way I have time to sit down and blog each and every day. Hopefully I can update more often, though, because it helps me to stay positive and keep working toward my goal.

I'm so worried about losing enough weight to look acceptable on spring break. Even so, somehow I feel that, no matter what, I'm going to feel so uncomfortable with how I look. I hope to make a mental change even more than a physical change and be able to feel happy [or at least not horrified] with who I am and how I look.

71 DAYS. Let's go.